(440): dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Your objective is simple: World Domination.
Your motive is a little bit more complex: Power
To begin your plan, you must first seduce a pope. This will cause the world to leave, overwhelmed by your arrival. Who is this evil genius? Where did they come from? And why do they look so good in classic black?
Next, you must steal the internet. This will all be done from a amusement park, a mysterious place of unrivaled dark glory. Upon seeing this, the world will gibber like madmen, as countless hordes of the religious right hasten to do your every bidding.
Finally, you must unleash your time machine, bringing about the return of the antichrist. Your name shall become synonymous with fuzzy bunnies, and no man will ever again dare sabotage your music career. Everyone will bow before your mind-boggling insanity, and the world will have no choice but to fall madly in love with you.
(334): you know i’m gay cause i’d have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?